Monday, March 10, 2008

I'll Always Be 12

So my mom sent me an email a few weeks ago, which is likely a direct result of this post and this post. The general tone, in four sentences, was motherly criticism regarding my use of fowl language and how "it may be normal for most people" but "it still isn't nice," and "it may sound cute if you accidentally say it when 'surprised,' but to do it as part of a normal sentence makes the difference between couth and uncouth."

I sighed. Closed my personal email. Took a sip from my steaming mug of green tea. Began my corporate day in a Manhattan skyscraper. Come on, Mom, I thought. I'm 28!

I was going to completely ignore her email and not issue a direct response via reply or indirectly via my blog. Then I read Chelsea Talks Smack's March 2nd post:

I'm sorry Granny (yes she reads my blog and now knows entirely too much inappropriate information about me), cousins, DAD, uncles, etc. Please forgive me for what I'm about to do -but, it's fucking human nature. So, go check your e-mail and return tomorrow. I wouldn't want to completely tarnish your pure vision of me as a little girl on Easter Sunday pointing out the color of tulips and looking all, cute and shit. Plus, if the idea that I'm not a virgin anymore is too much for you to handle, you may want to click the little red X at the top right corner of this page. Ciao.

Read more if you don't know Chelsea or if you know Chelsea and can handle that she is no longer a virgin.

Prepare for run-on sentence:
And I realized that - if Chelsea still has to apologize in advance to a family as cool as hers (check out the "Would You Punch Granny???" post) for real, raw and open topics that I only wish I had the guts to post, and East Village Idiot features reviews like:

"The best site on the World Wide Internet. Although he could cut down on the profanity a bit." - Chris' Mom"

... and Irish and Jew, hilarious 20-something New York bloggers, are smart enough to not tell their mothers that they have a blog - then I am not the only one with parents who frown upon my choice of language and personal decisions, but are still pretty cool, in general-ish. So I will accept my parents' criticisms with a grain of salt and appreciate the fact that I have parents who care enough to express criticisms that I can accept with a grain of salt.

But I still won't like it. I'm 28!


JanelleGrace said...

Sometimes I am glad for the messed-up family I have. The closest people are my two older sisters who have done much more than I have done so they only offer me advice, actual heartfelt advice, and a shoulder for anything bad.

And now that I am an adult, I can be an adult around my dad. We have real conversations now. But then again, our conversations are once or twice a year.

kyle the girl said...

You know, I've been trying to figure out a way I can make a mirror site of my blog just for my mom that magically leaves out all the profanity and sex talk... If I make that happen (ha) I'll let you know!

Anonymous said...

The "I'm [insert current age here]" line never works. From my experience, my mom really doesn't care how old I am but will always treat me like a little girl, and I guess I will always be her little girl, and I also guess that is something we will understand when we're parents. Sigh.

Maybe just find cute replacement swear words to use instead? I have a friend in the UK who says "sugar" instead of s-h-i-t, and it's pretty hilarious. lol

Todd said...

My family reads my site too. They think I'm an alcoholic. It's good times.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

My bro often reads me, but my mom's rule is, "If there's something you think I would like to read, please include it in an email, and never, ever give me a link I can start clicking around in."


Ok, so yeahhhh!! I totally understand. Because of my blog my parents think my life consists of a lot of alcohol, sex, and drugs.

They fail to realize that you can't have this such packaged lifestyle thats mentioned above when you work a full time job and have expensive rent to pay. Alcohol maybe! Sex not as much as college, and drugs--- stopped that completely after college.

Parents for some reason always expect the worst. They will never know....At this point, I just either ignore the comments/critisism, and just reply with..."Thank you, but I'm old enough to know how to maintain my life"....

I so know the feeling!!

My grandmother is known for hitting me with this statement: " That is not becoming"....ok then what is???