Seventy percent of the time, on most subway lines, announcements by conductors are completely inaudible. Twenty-two percent of the time, they're clear and concise or merely decipherable. Five percent of the time, they're bold-faced lies (e.g. "If you cannot fit on this train, there is another one directly behind this one."). And the other 3% of the time, they are surprisingly amusing.*
On a downtown no. 1 train for a blogger girls brunch two Sundays ago, the recalled transcript of the best subway conductor in New York City:
"I welcome all my weekend customers on my train. But for all of you weekenders who don't take the train during the week, there are rules to follow. First, be advised that this is a train. It consists of separate cars all connected to each other and going to the same place at the same time. There are three doors per car, 10 cars per train, and 30 doors total. Please use all available doors to enter and exit the train."
*Percentages are approximate and based solely on the author's personal subway experiences over the past year and a half.
"Things I Love" Thursdays are inspired by "I Love New York" (BNY, February 14, 2007).