Saturday, June 20, 2009

Looking in the Mirror

It was pointed out to me in comment on a post dated June 1, that my blog used to be interesting but has become lame. To be honest, I was surprised that someone actually followed my blog long enough to have had an opinion of when it was good.

However, being one who never shies from self-introspection, the comment made me wonder if my life had, in fact, become lame. Rather than be offended, I took it as an opportunity to explore what my blog was becoming ... since my blog is ultimately a reflection of what I was becoming.

This blog is written primarily for me with the intention that my older self will be the main audience. My motivation behind the blog was never to gain Internet fame or to garnish a book deal. It has served its purpose of documenting my own transition from North Carolina to New York City and the subsequent day-to-days. So I have no apologies that I want to remember what my body looked like at 29 or the sight of my friends enjoying a day on a Long Island beach.

But
if someone in cyberspace cared enough to offer a critique on the alleged progressive lameness of my blog, I had to at least be willing to take a look in the mirror and see if it was because I was losing my motivation to effectively document the world around me … or if my life was indeed becoming lame. And maybe it had.

I had been too busy trying to keep up with life in NYC to actually blog regularly about it. I guess I was no longer just an observer. I have been shamelessly backdating posts (which will continue through my last official post dated July 1, 2009) because I'm often too tired from long hours in the office or the night club. I've had too much going on at work to use lunch hours to people-watch some 20-odd floors below in Bryant Park. I use my Sundays to recuperate instead of taking my beloved city walks. And even deeper than that (or maybe shallower), I was surrounded by namedroppers, who revered night club promoters as if they were Gods, and arranged their social calendars around celebrity birthdays and music album release dates. I was beginning to covet designer exclusives and embrace materialistic ideals. Regardless of what any random reader thought about me, I was beginning to dislike what I saw in the mirror.

Anonymous’s June 1st post comment did not ignite my need to rediscover my true values, but it reaffirmed a slow change within myself that had already begun – though a little less consciously. In preceding months, I was becoming bored with the New York nightlife scene. All the things that were so exciting before were losing their luster. I was partying less and exercising more, giving up alcohol (though not entirely), much to the seemingly utter dispair of several friends. I was eating better and reading up on politics and personal finance. I even opened some mutual funds. And having achieved my goal of establishing a life in New York City by my New Year's Eve 2007 deadline (e.g. rent an apartment, secure employment, make friends to brunch with) - and having survived over the last three years, it is time for a new initiative as my 30th birthday approaches in January of 2010 and a new blog that will shed my cyber anonymity since everyone I care about already knows about this one anyway.

I’ll still spend the next few months, wrapping up “Becoming a New Yorker” through its previously intended end date of July 1, 2009 - the third anniversary of my first post. I can't say that I'll be able to suppress my new love for designer handbags. As shallow as it sounds, walking to work in Manhattan in a trendy outfit and designer bag in tow makes me feel good about not having spent my 20s having babies.

Regardless of the positive changes I succeed in making or the negative ones I knowingly choose to ignore ... in the end, I will have a record of my first three years in New York City – of my life … the good, the bad, the ugly, and even the boring … of becoming a New Yorker.

12 comments:

Will Hennessy said...

One person's garbage is another's treasure! I personally enjoy this blog tremendously. I appreciate your perspective, your writing 'voice' and prose, but most of all, reading this blog gives me a positive boost--I too want to become a NYer someday, and this is a good place to live vicariously through the words of someone who's done what I want to do...have a good weekend!

BNY said...

Thanks, Will! I wish you all the best on your own journey of becoming a New Yorker ...

Dina said...

I AGREE with Will!!! You know I've always lived through your stories...and I agree that I too have blogged for 3 years and now with facebook...I can't spread my thoughts all over. I have to make up a decision to refresh MY BLOG. I cannot stradle the fence (blog/facebook)and expect one won't suffer. SEASONS CHANGE...Good luck in the direction you follow. but this girl always enjoys what I read!!!!

tiffany said...

very brave BNY

Anonymous said...

Hey, Katie.

I've been following your blog for a long time ago but never felt like commenting til now. Althought I'm all the way across the Atlantic, I loved making this "Becoming a New Yorker" journey with you.

I must confess I enjoyed the older posts, full of excitment, almost taken from Sex and the City. However, I still enjoy the more recent ones and don't think they're getting lame. I just wish you posted as often as you used to, but I totally understand this is not a priority (that's just me being selfish :) ).

Best of luck, whatever is your next step.

BTY, I'll be waiting for those designer hand bag news... I love those too :)


M

Jo said...

Hey Katie!

I've been reading your blog for over a year and i love it!
I'm from Portugal (Europe) and i love NY!
I always wondered how it would be like living in the most exciting city in the world and you showed me that.
But the most recent post were more about you and not NY and i still am interested in what you have to say.
Sure, i miss the pictures you used to take, and your post about the city life, but i like very much these new personal posts and i will keep coming to your blog in hope of reading new ones!
Quoting the "Anonymous": "I just wish you posted as often as you used to, but I totally understand this is not a priority (that's just me being selfish :) )"
And i do not think your posts are lame, they are the opposite of that!
Best of luck!

Mary Hilton said...

I enjoy your blog too, and completely relate having taken the same journey along with you. But my energy and enthusiasm for my Newbie NYC blog has waned in recent months, and I've wondered why.

I think it is because I've built a life here. I take full advantage of all the city has to offer, including friends and social outings and shopping for groceries. Eventually, I had to do stuff like clean out my closets and shop for groceries instead of hit a gallery opening. Not really the makings of the most exciting posts.

I still love it here, I still go to a gazillian events, I still marvel and the daily adventures and misadventures I encounter. But there are so many that sometimes I need to save my energies, and treasure them privately.

Lame? I don't think so. We are some of the lucky few to live in the greatest city on the planet. Keep writing and reflecting and let your blog evolve. I have a feeling that no matter what you write, it will entertain and captivate.

Terry B, Blue Kitchen said...

BNY--I think Mary Hilton hit it on the head. You've become a New Yorker and she's no longer a Newbie. Still, you're both quite entertaining to all of us wannabe New Yorkers out here. So keep it coming!

BNY said...

I just wanted to say that I am really overwhelmed by the comments on this post. I definitely wasn't trying to phish for them, but I did not realize how much I would appreciate them. Thank you.

Man. Hat. In. said...

Hey BNY. I came across your blog and really liked it. And I responded to "It has served its purpose of documenting my own transition from North Carolina to New York City and the subsequent day-to-days."

I did the same thing except from California. I had 2 weeks to move to NYC for a job and had to move out after 12 years there. So I started packing and blogging. I kind of did the blog for myself and then people started reading. It is an odd thing, but I love NY and like writing about it.

My blog is www.manhatin.blogspot.com About a guy who is a NY transplant and loves it. I added you to my blog list since we are kindred spirits, I guess.

Keep up the good work. Pat

islandgirl said...

Hi Katie,

I just spent the last several days reading your blog from beginning to end. While your earlier entries were seen through "new" eyes as a newly transplanted New Yorker, your later entries show a maturity of being a New Yorker. Please keep up the great work and I hope you continue to write. I know work demands can often take over your life as well as other priorities. But I love reading your blog and hope you keep it up!

Thanks!

M said...

Katie, come back please! I love your blog