Thursday, August 02, 2007

Untouchable Executives

So, I apparently made the corporate mistake of speaking to a high-level executive in our company while we were occupying adjacent lockers at the gym recently. Today I learned that the high-level executive used the incident to rant about me during a welcome luncheon with our new, industry-renowned President of Media. My bosses returned to the office laughing about the incident and were like, "Katie, you don't introduce yourself to the SVP of [department removed] while she is standing stark naked in the gym locker room."

I was kind of pissed off about the situation because this high-level executive did not accurately relay the course of events and used me - a seemingly lowly assistant - to score points with our new President by telling a funny story about "these young assistants these days."

Before I left the office today, I sent and received the following correspondence:

----- Original Message -----
From: [Me]
Sent: 08/02/2007 06:56 PM
To: [Boss #1 (the VP one); Boss #2 (the AVP one)]
Subject: in my defense ... :)

I would just like to say -- since I was not permitted adequate opportunity to submit my case in light of the acquisitions presented in my absence against my youthful, not-hard-core-and-untouchable-professional naivety -- the executive in question was not "stark naked" as told among your comrades in what may have been a likely attempt to add to the shock and amusement value in the presence of the new media president.

I would like to submit details to the contrary that she was, in fact, wearing high-waist pin-striped pants that were well above her belly button and a very large bra that covered more than some of the low-cut frocks I see daily around this office. And if she was so concerned about being naked in front of young assistants, she should not have been standing in front of her locker for five minutes in the aforementioned clothing (or lackthereof) sending emails on her Blackberry, which twice forced me to detour around her and the adjacent bench to get to the locker I was occupying next to her.

I am willing to concede that it was an inopportune - if not altogether inappropriate - time to offer a formal greeting, but as I'm certain you have learned about me by now, I do stupid things and then realize it later ... more so than the average person. Either way, I began to feel awkward about detouring around her multiple times and not speaking when I was certain we recognized each other.

Thank you very much and have a nice day! :)
----- Reply -----
From: [Boss #2 (the AVP one)
Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2007 7:09 PM
To: [Me], [Boss #1 (the VP one)]
Subject: Re: in my defense ... :)

You could be the funniest person we work with

----- End -----

And speaking of gym woes, I am trying to avoid blogging about the woman with the offensive pubic hair, who parades it around the locker room 2-4 mornings a week.

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