Crush on Ellen and Need an Air Conditioner

I am weirdly attracted to Ellen DeGeneres. This isn't a new revelation. I was watching a rerun of her show on the Oxygen channel last night, and decided that I'm finally able to admit it in the blogosphere. I had a conversation with my friend Eileen, Annisha and Gina B. about my female crush after Ellen hosted this year's Academy Awards show.

"Female crushes are normal and do not mean that you are a lesbian," Eileen had said to me over brunch at Cafe Noir after I had said, "Ok, girls. I am weirdly attracted to Ellen DeGeneres. Does that mean I'm gay?"

"But it's not your normal female crush," I had replied, "Most heterosexual girls have hot-girl crushes, like on Jessica Alba, or say something trendy like, 'I'd make out with Angelina Jolie.'"

I know I am strictly interested in men - at least in terms of intimacy. In fact, my fantasies of Ellen simply involve frolicking hand-in-hand in a meadow and laughing at her jokes while we rest in the shadow of cherry trees.

Anyway, I really need an air conditioner. It was so hot today.

This photo sums up today's temperature: