Living, Learning & Having it All

So I have never in my life heard of a Nor'easter, but I am expecting to learn all about it tomorrow. The Gothamist.com's weather category has been tracking the approaching storm for the past few days with predictions of an ugly Sunday ahead and recommendations to take advantage of the beautiful weather on Saturday.

In lieu of this information, I decided to take my City Walk today since my Spring Sunday won't be so spring-y. I chose a route along Central Park South. It was a gorgeous day and the area was alive with the hustle and bustle of families, friends, tourists, street vendors and performers. I'll likely wait to post the City Walk and correlated images tomorrow because I have to get ready to meet Tokii and her fiance at a party around 10 p.m.

There is a blog that I read recently that had me doing some soul searching during my City Walk. Last Sunday I had chosen a walk along Fifth Avenue, and today's walk mirrored the luxury and ambiance I had found on the east side of Central Park.

It's in areas of New York like these that have me thinking about all the things I will never have. I will never be welcomed home by a white-gloved doorman. I will never wake up in the morning and stretch in front of a full-length window overlooking Central Park. I will never be one of those women walking out of Bergdorf Goodman in a Dolce & Gabbana dress. I will never be a regular at Jean Georges or Nobu. And I'll never pay my credit card bill without flinching.

The blog that stirred these emotions is by a mother of three who - like me - is searching for herself on the opposite side of the United States. Her blog features thoughts about married life and photos of her children. Somehow she came across mine and found something in it that moved her. My blog seemed to be for her what walking along Fifth Avenue and Central Park South seemed to be for me. It's like a view of what I think I want from the cheap seats.

As I walked along West 59th Street snapping camera phone photo ops, I got to thinking about how cheap my seats weren't. And my guess is that her seats aren't that cheap either. Our lives are only as rich as we realize, and there are things that each of us will have that someone else won't. Much like there will always be someone prettier, wealthier, smarter or faster.

I am sure I will always have dreams, wishes, wants and desires, but this woman's blog brought new meaning to me with regard to my own mother's advice: "Just appreciate what you do have."

I was returning to my neighborhood in the 130s, and the sun was setting over the uptown 1 train as it emerged from underground just before 125th Street. Grasping a pole and leaning on a sign that read "Do not lean on doors," I watched the sunrays sparkle on the Hudson River.

As I turned the key to my tiny studio apartment, I pictured Annalisa somewhere in California. Perhaps her adorable daughter was jumping into her arms and laughing.

Sometimes we can still have it all.