New School Spin on Old School Cattiness

An editorial in The Times (of Johannesburg) noted that one of the most crucial but disheartening realisations in the series [Candy Girls, Sunday nights on E!] is the fact that the candy girls see themselves as models with great careers ahead of them.

I say that makes for pretty entertaining - albeit mindless - television (kind of like Joe Millionaire), which is exactly what I enjoy when it's time to wind down at the end of a long, hectic New York City day (or week). But I actually discovered wisdom in a recent episode - a philosophical breakdown of The Main Chic, The Sideline Chic, The Jump-Off and The Groupie.

“So Blanca, you have to your gear together … Yea, you gotta make sure you don’t blend in with the groupies, baby … Terricka, explain your definitions of groupies … It be a Main Chic, a Sideline Chic, the Jump-off, and then the Groupie. She basically just be out, see who’s there. It’s a function – she realizes celebrities or anybody’s going to be there. She might not even know who they are … She going to get in the elevator. That’s it … The Sideline Chic would be the Main Chic if it wasn’t for the Main Chic. She gets the same benefits; he’s doing the same thing. Half of the time, it’s better. The Jump-off’s just there because she’s gonna start the party and get the sh** jumping. That’s why they call her a Jump-Off … but Blanca, the funny thing about all of that is – they all know about each other … they all know … the Groupie know about the Jump-Off, the Jump-Off know about the Sideline, and the Main Chic – she plead the fifth and act like she don't know about none of the hoes … but the only person I feel sorry for is the Groupie … because … like, you excited just because of his name, like you don’t reap any of those benefits so why do you care? ... Don’t get invited no where. No jet ski. No nothing … No events. No nothing.”
- Terricka, Blanca and Brooke, discussing the women who frequent NBA All-Star Weekends, Candy Girls, Episode 4: All-Star Groupie

It doesn't necessarily make me reconsider my own relationship with a professional athlete (I guess I'd be the Been With Him Since College So Back Off Chic), but it is food for thought. Regardless, you can regularly find all four of these women in any of the more pretentious venues of New York City nightlife. Another blogger, as fascinated with the philosophical breakdown as I was, explores each definition a bit deeper. And the swirl of "reality" gossip is widespread for the pleasure of the masses - all best read over a bag of popcorn.

You have to expect the backlash when you sign a contract to do a "reality" television show about being in music videos. But don't assume that social status (and hating on other women and what they have or don't have) is a budding phenomenon in our entertainer- and athlete-obsessed generation. Ironically, while channel surfing as I ponder celebrity society and type my thoughts, I just came across The Women on the Turner Classic Movies channel. Filmed in 1939 and remade in 2008, it's description reads: "[3 1/2 stars] Catty New York socialites gossip about a friend and her husband's girlfriend. Starring Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell, Mary Boland, Paulette Goddard, Joan Fontaine. Directed by George Cukor. 2 hr., 12 min."

Proof that life and art have been imitating each other since at least 1939.

My personal mantra: The drama makes for great entertainment, but in "reality", there is enough success (and men) out there for every woman. So stop worrying about someone else's and get your own.

... You know you love me ... xoxo ... Gossip Girl

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